WASHINGTON - In an attempt to regain popularity with American voters and to secure more Senate and Congressional seats for Republicans in the 2006 election, President George W. Bush will address the nation from New Orleans on Thursday to outline his ambitious 1-point plan, or what he terms "The Second Reconstruction of the South."
During his speech, President Bush will reveal a recent deal between the United States and the Republic of China for the latter to receive ownership of all areas of the ravaged Gulf Coast. China plans to build a massive tourist wonderland and industrial empire in the southern U.S. and President Bush has agreed that the large land mass will be heretofore be recognized as the official Chinese Embassy, and named after China's legendary emperor, Fok Yu.
According to a White House aide who spoke on condition of anonymity, representatives of the Republic of China made a "very generous offer" to exchange their almost 50% ownership of United States Treasury Bonds in acquiring what is left of New Orleans, and other areas of Katrina-ravaged property in Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi.
This unprecedented eminent domain land seizure and trade will include New Orleans historic French Quarter and its lush Garden District in the bargain, said the aide. The Republic of China has agreed to hire global giant Halliburton for the Fok Yu cleanup and construction, and Chinese President Hu Jintao has guaranteed that all Katrina refugees will be provided area jobs and budget housing.
"The opportunities for the poor, displaced blacks to find work as maids, bellhops, janitors, waitresses, ship stewards, and the like in Fok Yu will greatly improve their quality of life," said the aide. "President Bush is a true visionary."
Adding that the Republican base appears very pleased with Bush's 1-point plan, the aide further confided that everyone in the White House was "very impressed" with Bush's sharp negotiating skills, and that Karl Rove had actually hugged the president and told him, "You're doing a heck of a job, Georgie!"
In related news, Chinese President Hu Jintao is rumored to be already taking meetings with Disney executives to realize plans for adding a massive theme park to Fok Yu. Tentatively titled Chinaland, the park design will be broad in scope, winding its way through each of the already-planned cruise ports, casinos, sports arenas, outlet malls and luxury condo complexes.
More on this breaking story as it develops.
