Washington, D.C. -- In a shock statement just released from the White House, President George W. Bush is about to petition Congress to declare war on Mother Nature in the next stage of his war against terror. Nine days after Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf states, the President is due to fly over the region once more at an altitude of less than 10 thousand feet to view for himself (in his own words) ‘…the horrific devistatationism that Mother Nature has brought down on the peoples of my country…'.
An unofficial document leaked from the psychiatric department of the White House states that when he flew over the flooded region last week, the President "… was really annoyed that he couldn't get a good game of Pooh sticks going with all them gangs shooting at each other and the stinky water that was left all over the streets… this left him feeling hurt, troubled and aggressive and it took more than 7 minutes on the naughty step before he calmed down…"
Taking advisement from his closest aides, the President is about to call for an all out war against Mother Nature for crimes against humanity. Research conducted by the President himself directly links Mother Nature with terrorist activities that date back to since records begun. "… I have seen, with my own eyes, what Mother Nature has done to us. From Mount St Helens back in the 80's to the ice on my lawn that is real slippy, we cannot, as the world's only real superdooperpower, allow this to carry on".
The military action, funded by tax payers, will consist of all out military assault on clouds, the sea and various unidentified objects of natural interest will start as soon as he gets the all clear.
According to an unnamed White House Source, the president has the complete support of his cabinet. ‘President Bush thinks that if he can control Mother Nature, he can stop the needless slaughter of American Citizens. Donny Rumsfeld thinks that they can learn from Iraq - go straight in and WOOF..!!! Blast it all to hell and back with nukes to save all the hassle... YEEEEEHHHAAAAAA...!!!!'.
