George Bush, Hillary Clinton and Miss Beazley

Funny story written by Neil Levine

Friday, 9 September 2005

image for George Bush, Hillary Clinton and Miss Beazley
Walkin' To New Orleans

Washington, New York and New Orleans---With the world around him spinning awry, President Bush has returned to the White House to put his foot down and establish law in order and take control of the wheels of government.

He has banished Barney and Miss Beazley to the customized dog house built for them in the basement and instituted a nine to five curfew and insisted Willie India live in a cat house appropriate for single felines that has been set up in a dark back room where he can hiss at whatever he wants to whenever he wants. There are also rumors of mice and other creepy crawly things that no one else has the slightest human interest in.

Unhappy with the new arrangements, the pets have organized a protest gang and have taken to baying, "Bush is unfair to pets. He will not allow them the run of the House."

They have also begun singing, "Rain, rain go away."

President Bush's reply thus far has been, "Heel boy. Down, down. Stop licking my foot."

An offer to run a soup kitchen has also been received from Senator Hillary Clinton about which the Republican Administration has asked for necessary details.

Senator Clinton claims it will serve matzoh ball soup, "a nutritious broth that soothes the soul and cures what ails you," in addition to an abundant sampling of cajun down homey cooking that it is claimed will cure everything else.

President Bush has raised questions. "We can put this to the ultimate test and see if Miss Beazley, Barney and Willie India will eat the proposed peaceful offering of manna for the masses."

Miss Beazley complained the food was too hot saying, "The sun's gonna shine in my back door some day. Just you wait and see." Barney said, "Too cold," moaning something about ‘when my dream boat comes home."

But Willie India started singing about "food, glorious food." And still very annoyed at the newly installed disciplinary rules at the White House, he surreptitiously asked for Department of Agriculture and FDA inspections whereby he was told that he was being served meals fit for humans but not pets.

Willie India started singing, "Don't come knocking on my door. I don't want you round no more."

After conferring with his fellow pets, he concluded the day by singing to George W. Bush, "You used to be my honey. Til you spent all my money. No use for you to cry. I'll see you bye and bye. Cause I'm walking' to New Orleans."

"I got no time for talkin'. I've got to keep on walkin'. New Orleans is my home. That's the reason why I'm goin'. Yes, I'm walkin' to New Orleans.

And on that note all three pets left the White House allegedly headed in the direction of the Great State of Louisiana, possibly to get advice from a hep cat named Fats Domino.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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