Written by wadenelson

Sunday, 4 September 2005

image for FEMA Head Mike Brown Judged Horse's Behind
Never fires anyone no matter how incompetent

Washington -- Mike Brown, FEMA head responsible for the completely bungled federal rescue efforts in New Orleans, worked for 11 years prior to becoming head of FEMA managing and ajudicating horse shows. Aside from membership in the Republican party, no other significant work experience which would have prepared him to manage FEMA is noted on Brown's resume'. To add insult to injury, Brown was reportedly "let go" from his position overseeing horse shows, which perhaps explains why FEMA appears to be so far in over their heads in assisting flooded New Orleans.

Brown virtually blamed New Orleans residents for their misery for failure to evacuate in the face of Hurricane Katrina, apparently failing to realize that in New Orleans, as in many other metropolitan areas, large numbers of residents don't own cars and can't simply pack up and leave at a moment's notice. "Brown apparently lives in the Suburbs, drives a Suburban, and buys gas with a government credit card" said one 'narlens resident."

According to the Herald's writer, "It's so nice to know that [the Bush] administration looked for the 'best and the brightest' in filling a vital, life-and-death post such as FEMA chief.... Perhaps that has something to do with the quality of job performance so far":

Lawyer-turned GOP activist Mike Brown reportedly got his job through an old college friend who at the time was heading up FEMA, Louis Allbaugh, who realized any man with that much horse experience would be "good at shoveling s--t" -- a useful skill in DC.

The agency, run by Brown since 2003, is now at the center of a growing fury over the handling of the New Orleans disaster. ``I look at FEMA and I shake my head,'' said a furious Gov. Mitt Romney yesterday, calling the response ``an embarrassment.''

Brown - formerly an estates and family lawyer has made several amazing public admissions, including interviews where he claimed FEMA was completely unaware of the misery and desperation of refugees stranded at the New Orleans convention center. Apparently Brown doesn't watch TV, or know how to use the internet. Or listen to those people who do.

Before joining the Bush administration in 2001, Brown reportedly spent 11 years as the commissioner of judges and stewards for the International Arabian Horse Association, a breeders' and horse-show organization based in Colorado. Brown was forced out of the position after numerous lawsuits over alleged failures of supervision.

`We hold classes to train people to become judges and stewards...'' explained a spokeswoman for the IAHA commissioner's office. ``This was his full-time job . . . for 11 years,'' she added. What happened to Brown's prior law career is unclear, but it can't be good if he ended up evaluating horse's behinds."

``He was asked to resign,'' Bill Pennington, president of the IAHA at the time, confirmed last night. "The man doesn't know a horse's posterior from a hole in the ground."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Washington, Horse

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
69 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more