Tea Partiers Found to Emit Obnoxious Gas, Can Be Used for Fuel

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Friday, 28 January 2011

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Tea Party, nothing to do with Tea or Parties, has been found out to be a form of gas.

The gas, which is very obnoxious, from one Partier, releases enough enery to power the entirety of New York City for several years. (One year's usage in New York is 40,000 GW)

"This is a breakthrough," said a spokesman at Caltech. "Already, we've created a reactor which can utilise two whole Partiers. We've ran tests on a subject, and he pumped out more energy than we put in. It's like cold fusion, but as a gas."

The energy, when burned, is totally clean, and emits only a slight smell.

"Luckily," he said, "we've found no CO2 or methane produced. Sadly, it has a smell of 1300kS (kilostinks) (or for the imperial system: 2600 whiff-pounds). We're working on technology that could turn that into lavender aerosol."

The price per kW (of energy is roughly 0.0001 cents, and according to the last poll, nearly 1mn Tea Partiers are in America.

Are there any side effects?

"Well," continued the spokesman, "the Tea Partier does come out more liberal, and educated. They lose thier obnoxious gasses. However, we are prepared for a shortage of obnoxious gas. We have found a large reserve in the Bible Belt, which we can use to great effect."

Already, nearly 200 Partiers have been used to generate fuels, which are currently being adapted for vehicular useage, along with Stick-To-Lavender converters.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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