Sacramento - In the wake of a deadly midair collision between a pair of flying bikes, California governor Ahnold Schwarzenegger today outlawed all flying cars and motorcycles. "The public is just not ready" said the Gropester. "If a couple of kids can't maintain proper altitude and clearance on 15 mph flying bicycles, imagine the carnage that will occur with people talking on cellphones while piloting Flying Cars.
Director George Lucas, whose Industrial Light and Magic developed the flying bike technology, first seen in the film "ET," said "I'm forced to agree. We put prototype anti-G technology in the hoverboard in "Back to the Future," and viewers probably recall the horrific collision McFly had with the manure truck. When we put ET on the flying bike, next thing we know he had kids riding on the handlebars, in the basket, and hanging off the back. Kids just don't use common sense."
The flying car, which has been a perennial favorite on the cover of Popular Mechanics, has had a number of incarnations. "Tattoo" flew one in a James Blond flick to a mysterious island off the coast of Vietnam. Flying motorcycles only recently made their screen debut in "The Island," a futuristic blend of "Coma" and "the Matrix," with a dash of "Logan's Run" and "Blade Runner" thrown in. In that film as well as the filming, the flying bikers "rather quickly" became organ donors.
Like the jet backpack only a few individuals have ever managed to land flying cars safely. "How the West Covina children got their hands on a pair of flying bikes is undetermined" said Axel Foley, of the West Hollywood Police Department. "We suspect one of their parents worked at ILM and snuck out an anti-G unit, or possibly blueprints."
Stephen Covery, and Michael R. McDonald are reportedly both in stable condition in Shriner's hospital in Anaheim following the collision. NTSB investigators have moved the remains of the bicycles to a warehouse and are combing through the wreckage. Neither child filed a flight plan, or was wearing a helmet, investigator Gahna Krash noted. One of them wasn't even wearing a shirt, but fortunately, landed in a lake rather than on asphalt."