70 year old Barney Frank announced today that he was resigning from Congress and will be entering the Military Academy at West Point this fall, becoming the oldest plebe since the opening of the Academy. In doing so, he will be commissioned an officer in 2016.
West Point has produced many famous men, among them, Major Amos B. Hoople. Hoople was a "no nonsense" field commander famous for prefacing each of his directives with, "EGAD FAP! COUGH COUGH, WHEEZE, GULP, GLUG GLUG...Shoot the Commie faggot bastards!"
He graduated from West Point at the age of 62, but will lose his honor of being the oldest Cadet unless Barney dies before being commissioned. Although much more mature than his classmates, Hoople engaged in the typical plebe pranks such as pillow fights and cribbing.
Barney Frank currently chairs the House Financial Services, but will be replaced in January when the new Congress is sworn in. He plans on leaving his present boy friend in search of young men in uniform, hence his commitment to becoming an officer.
"I have been waiting all my life for the opportunity to serve my country and now that 'don't ask, don't tell' has been repealed, why should I not be able to live out my fantasy? Tell the Cadets that I will be joining them next fall and that they should pucker-up, because I'm coming in for a slobber job."
