Boehner, Bachmann, Huckabee, and King Protest List of "Haters"

Written by SpaceElevator

Monday, 20 December 2010

image for Boehner, Bachmann, Huckabee, and King Protest List of "Haters"
"I hate these so-called hate group haters and their hateful message, I tell ya!"

(Hate Group Monthly) - Several House Republicans are outraged that the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) has added four groups to a nationwide database of colored pins on the map.

This brings the number of hate groups in the U.S. even closer to the magic number of 1,000 -- at which point there will be more hate group members than non-members in the country, forcing hate groups to start hating upon each other.

The four new members of the club are:

  • the American Family Association (AFA)
  • the Family Research Council (FRC)
  • the National Organization for Marriage (NOM)
  • -- and last but certainly not least --
  • the Coalition for a Less Fucked-Up America (CLFUA)

Representative Steve King (Iowa), whose early work includes Carrie and The Shining, and Representative Michelle Bachmann (Minnesota), whose recent appointment to the Intelligence Committee is like putting Barney Fife in charge of the International Operations Division at the FBI, joined together with superfriends John Boehner and Mike Huckabee to defend these defenseless social conservative groups against the "vicious" and "vitriolic" Southern Poverty Law Center.

Upon learning that FRC, AFA, NOM, and CLFUA were now going to be showing up for the annual hate group picnic, the Ku Klux Klan, the Nation of Islam and the Aryan Nations all declined to comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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