bin Laden Applauds Obama's Speech To Troops

Funny story written by kslaught

Saturday, 4 December 2010

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bin Laden Applauds His Strategy

In a cable just disclosed by WikiLeaks, Osama bin Laden expressed his approval for the President's recent message to American troops in Afghanistan: "Al Qaida will never be permitted to set up a safe haven in Afghanistan again. That's not going to happen."

In the leaked document, bin Laden expressed no interest in returning to Afghanistan, commenting that "there's nothing to do there anyway, unless you are into drugs."

"Also," he noted, "the food in Pakistan is much better."

In a rare display of humor, bin Laden expressed amusement that the "infidel" is fighting two wars in the wrong countries. "One of these days," he laughed, "I may leak to the media that I am really in Pakistan," he said. "For now, I think I will just keep them guessing."

The mercurial leader of al Qaida did take some shots at the Taliban, however.

"If I were fighting that war, there would be many more U.S. casualties. I'm not really involved, however, so the Taliban doesn't listen to me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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