A celebration, of sorts, is being planned in Columbus, Ohio, to announce the reaching of a questionable milestone in the city's history.
It was announced on local television on Monday that over the weekend there had been two more murders in the city, which brought their total for 2010 to 100, a new high for the city.
The Chief of Police stated, "Robbery and burglaries are down, so it shows that my new policies are effective and working, but apparently we are neglecting murders. We will have to somehow correct that oversight."
The Service Director and the Safety Director for the City of Columbus are presently in meetings formulating a plan which will drastically put a stop to the increase.
Dr. Harry Laawwttoon, Speech Therapist and City Psycyiatrist, stated, "I don't think it is anything we, as a city are doing, I think it just indicates that national trends are filtering their way into our way of life. I feel that if we took drug related killings out of the picture that we would be in compliance with national averages, and that is what we are striving for. The Mayor has taken millions out of his campaign fund, and has indicated that he has earmarked a portion of that sum to start a "Killing Kills" campaign."
The rest of his fund he is using for entertainment and promoting the City of Columbus by frequenting all of the up-scale restaurants in town, entertaining guests lavishly, attending OSU football games in expensive boxes, and divorcing his wife.
