High Speed Rail Travel in Ohio

Written by Spicewood

Thursday, 25 March 2010

The Department of Transportation in Ohio, ODOT, and the state have been looking in to the feasibility of high speed transportation between Cleveland in the Northern part of the state and Cincinnati in the Southern part, and numerous stops in between. There have been many ridership and cost studies done.

Republican opponents to the Democratic Governor's who wish to see it come about have stated that the studies have exaggerated the ridership on the trains, and the numbers they have come up with are not accurate and are much to high to be realistic.

Not to be outdone, a source close to the Governor disclosed today that the Governor has a proposal that is unique and may open the doors to high speed railway travel all over the country.

He is proposing that each train will, by law, have to designate three cars that will be used as High Speed Medical Emergency Rooms. Further a portion of each railway station will afford the same service and have staff's capable of tending to a minimum of 12 extended care patients. One car on each train will have an X-ray department and a fully equipped medical lab. Future plans call for specialized equipment to be placed on certain trains as needed.

The Governor stated, "If these trains were in service now they could have be routed to New Orleans, and to flood areas and other disaster areas around the country, and since they are high speed they could get there really quick. Just think an ill person could board in Cleveland, see a Doctor, have blood work done, an X-ray, and be well when he arrived in Cincinnati."

He was quizzed by a reporter from the Columbus Dispatch who asked, "What if that passenger wanted to go to Dayton."

"Ah, we have a few things to work out," he stuttered.

The source also indicated that the Governor had discussed this plan with President Obama, and that he was very optimist about the success of the plan and that it could be worked in to his healthcare package.

House Speaker Pelosi indicated that if this comes about she would like to have her own private coach on the train.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more