Written by UWGB-Beek

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

On Monday, a Wal-Mart customer pushed down a 100 year old greeter at a Milwaukee store because the customer didn't like the old lady.

"I saw the old lady, and saw my future without Social Security, and I panicked and pushed the old lady. I know she was only doing her job, but man, why would a 100 year old question me?" The angry Wal-Mart customer said.

Wal-Mart added greeters as a way to cut down on shoplifting and also as a way to improve customer service.

"I enjoy working at Wal-Mart because I can work a couple hours a day and make just enough money to pay for my casino trips." Sam White, an 87 year old Wal-Mart greeter, said. "I do believe the younger customers don't like us because they don't like thinking the future means they will never get to retire."

Wal-Mart denied that they exploit the elderly, and put them in dangerous positions.

They did admit that some greeters have to deal with the ignorant customers that make Wal-Mart the number one retailer in the world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Walmart

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
50 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more