Boss' Day Celebrations Marred by Workers' Refusal to Honor Bosses

Funny story written by Charpa93

Saturday, 16 October 2010

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Workers today found ways to make their dissatisfaction with their jobs known by such random acts of worker disobedience as refusal to make the morning coffee, forgetting to stop off for doughnuts on the way into work, and conveniently allowing paper jams to clog up the office printers, to name a few.

All across America, workers found clever ways to turn Boss' Day into "You only think you own me" Day. Those in charge of seeing to it the petty cash drawers had enough money in them for bosses to go to lunch were, for the first time, empty. Fresh flowers in the lobbies were conspicuously absent, and candy dishes on workers' desks, previously overflowing with the boss' favorite caramels or peanut M&M's were instead either empty or filled with those wrapped strawberry hard candies that everyone hates.

Card racks at various drug stores overflowed with unpurchased Happy Boss' Day cards. Even the really funny ones that everyone buys first didn't show the slightest sign of being picked over. In years past, restaurants from Boston to Sacramento could bank on a good lunch crowd on Boss' Day when secretaries, clerks and underlings would invite their bosses out for long lunches to celebrate their working relationship. This year, however, the only action seen at lunchtime was the drive-thru windows of many fast-food restaurants where workers took their lunch breaks alone, leaving their bosses to fend for themselves.

In awkward scene after awkward scene being played out all across America, bosses would hover around their secretaries' desks making small talk and fiddling with various desk items as they awaited an invite to lunch that never came, until finally, they would go back into their offices, close the door and call the lunch service desk to have a sandwich brought up as they feigned being too busy to take a lunch that day.

No one knows for certain if this year is an anomaly due to the downtick in the economy or if workers have finally found the gumption to stand up and say, "Look, we tried to buy into the whole celebrate boss' day and all, but honestly, our hearts were never really in it." Perhaps this is the new worker agenda. Go to work, do your job, and quit trying to kiss up to someone who is never going to see you as anything more than their employee, period. This year is the test drive for many and for now, quite a few workers are actually asking themselves for the first time "What the hell was I thinking offering to take the boss out to lunch?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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