Limited success for new Jobseekers Allowance Queuebuster tickets

Funny story written by alexc

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

image for Limited success for new Jobseekers Allowance Queuebuster tickets

The government's latest attempt to improve services to the increasing numbers of unemployed by introducing queuebusters tickets has met with limited success.

The tickets, which costs just £20, allow jobseekers to skip to the front of the line, ensuring they will be the first to be told there our currently no jobs available in their field of work.

Prime Minister and old-Etonian David Cameron was known to have backed the scheme personally and admitted he could not fathom why people wouldn't want to save their "precious time for the cost of less than a starter at a 3-Michelin-starred restaurant".

Hoping to salvage what he sees as an excellent idea, Cameron today announced that long-term unemployed would be entitled to a 2% if they bought a season ticket for the entire year.

Critics have suggested this shows how out of touch Cameron is with the marginal members of society but this was swiftly followed by a blunt rebuttal by Cameron saying he knew from personal experience what it was like to be unemployed.

"Those two weeks I spent on my family's private island in the Indian Ocean after university were a torment to me. Luckily, I was able to call in some favours and find a job as soon as I got back from my unemployed hell".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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