White House Will Not Remove Alan Simpson From Deficit Commission Despite 'Tits' and 'Dicks' Comments

Funny story written by Moose

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

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Last week, we reported on former Senator and Deficit Commission Co-Chair Alan Simpson's remarks in an email, describing "any system in America" as a "milk cow with 310 million tits." Subsequently, Simpson sent another email stating "The Federal Government Is Like a "Bull with 100 Million Dicks!"

At today's briefing, I asked Robert Gibbs if these tit and dick incidents would prompt the President to remove Simpson. Gibbs, citing Simpson's apology, made it clear the former Senator isn't going anywhere.

Transcript:

Thanks, Robert. I have a quick question. Does the President have any reaction to calls for Alan Simpson to be removed from the deficit commission, based on an emails that he sent to the president of the OWL, comparing America to a milk cow with 310 million tits and the federal government having 100 million dicks?

MR. GIBBS: Senator Simpson sent two emails that he now regrets. As you know, America only has 290 million tits and further evaluation determined that there are actually 200 million dicks in the federal government. Additionally, Mr. Simpson has sent out another email, where he said there were 150 million C*nts in the federal government. He is confident that this number is accurate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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