The White House has taken the unusual step of denying that President Obama is anti-British because of his hatred of British Colonial Rule in Kenya.
When asked why he continued to use the term "British Petroleum" instead of the company's real name, a spokesman said it was simply to ensure the maximisation of forthcoming profits for a load of shyster lawyers getting themselves into position for years of anticipated legal actions against a 'British' company.
A spokesman from BP simply responded by saying that "if Obama or anyone else in 'Mighty America' could do any better to stop the leak, then they had better get their asses down here and do it.
British soldiers putting themselves daily in harm's way to support American military actions in Afghanistan were unavailable for comment
