Slob Husband: "I'm protected by religious law"

Funny story written by Jeff Brone

Friday, 27 August 2010

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Allan Homgrund of Sioux Falls, IA says it's a shame his wife doesn't respect his religious beliefs.

His wife Katy claims that Homgrund is a slob, leaving dirty underwear on the living room floor and spilling beer on the carpet, which he asserts is part of his religion and "must not be violated." As Allan explained "Last night I was quietly worshiping, watching wrestling and eating a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, as I usually do as part of my meditation. My wife comes up to me and tells me I'm getting crumbs all over the sofa. How could she be so insensitive?"

"Religion," replied Katy "what religion? I've never even seen him in a church, or temple, or anywhere except slumped over in a dingy bar or spread out on the couch like the Goodyear Blimp. What religion?"

Allan expressed concern over his wife's attitude. "There are often problems when couples have different faiths. It reminds me of those people who want to build a mosque somewhere now, and the others don't want that. Something like that anyway. I guess all I can do is pray for her when I go to 'Hooters'."

He then added that his wife recently threw out some of his old 'Playboy' magazines. "Some of the most inspirational ones at that. That's a violation of religious freedom too, I think, probably."

"He better lose this crap real soon." said Katy, to which Allan quietly faced the television and drank a beer in silent prayer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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