Muslim Employee Refuses to Dress Like Miley Cyrus for Mickey-Mouse Operation

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

ANAHEIM, California -- Three Mousekettiers Inc. (TMI) said in a statement Monday that a Muslim woman who works as a hostess for one of its restaurants is "living in a fantasyland" if she thinks she can get away with violating the company's strict no-hijab policy.

Miki Mosque has filed a discrimination complaint against the reputed California smut peddlers, saying park officials violated the law when they told her to remove her religious head scarf, put on some short-shorts, and straddle a stripper pole.

Mosque filed the complaint with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, claiming TMI supervisors violated her rights when they ordered her to "either dress like a whore, or work in back with the rest of the rag-heads."

Mosque, a legal immigrant who had hoped to wear the scarf in observance of Ramadan, said she decided to take the day off after being given those options, and was given the same choice upon returning to work.

TMI spokeswoman Minnie McDisney said the park will work with Miki Mosque to find a compromise that allows her to exercise her constitutionally guaranteed freedom of religeon "within company guidelines."

"Three Mousekettiers Inc. is in the business of entertaining -- theme parks and resorts are like a stage to us, and skimpy outfits are just part of the show," McDisney said Friday on Foxxx News, her half-buttoned blouse barely containing her ample cleavage.

"All cast members in roles, regardless of their beliefs, are expected to comply with our dress codes," McDisney explained. "While we would like our rules to be skin-tight, when cast members request exceptions to our policies for religious reasons like Ramada Inn, we expect them to make reasonable accommodations as well.

"I'm sorry? Oh, my mistake. That's 'Ramadan.'

"Anyway, as I was saying, these accommodations can often include attire that is inappropriate because, quite frankly, that's what American consumers worship.

"Examples of acceptable costume modifications include accommodating religious head wear requirements with mouse ears, unbuttoning one's shirt or removing it to expose the midriff, shortening skirt hems to bare thighs, or just substituting panties for skirts.

"In the past," McDisney added, "we have even provided cast members with roles that do not require them to wear a costume at all."

Alibaba Aladdin, an attorney for the Muslims Only Unified Societal Entity (MOUSE), said Mosque had been working for the company illegally for more than two years before finding out she could wear her hijab at work while studying for her U.S. citizenship exam last June.

Despite this, Mosque had to wait two more months after asking supervisors if she could wear the hijab before finally being told she could - as long as it was designed by TMI's costume department and complied with company sexiness guidelines outlined in her employee handbook.

Mosque was then fitted for the garment, but was not given a date when it would be finished. In the meantime, Aladdin said she was not permitted to wear a towel on her head at work.

"After two months of this complicated process," said the swarthy MOUSE spokesman, "in the end, she was not able to wear her traditional hijab in the 'It's a Big World' parade to celebrate Ramadan."

The popular event features themes of global peace and unity set to mind-numbingly repetitive music, but Mosque really wanted to go anyway.

"It's not right to confine her to a space in back where customers can't see her just because she refuses to remove certain articles of clothing. That's just not reasonable," Aladdin noted, adding that Miki Mosque has offered to wear her hijab with matching 5-inch heels, or in a theme or color the company approves of, as long as she doesn't have to be entirely naked while doing so.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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