Detectives from The FBI, FDA and The KFC made a major announcement this evening concerning the origin of the bacterial infection that caused a major recall of eggs throughout the country.
According to the head of the American KFC, Henley Crackpot "There has been a major bio-terrorist attack launched against our country". "We have followed many leads and collected some strong evidence against the responsible individual." Crackpot said, "For sure, all leads point to the same person. Hence, We are conducting a nation wide search for Dr. Sal Monella, a well known bio-terrorist who in the past has tried to contaminate the American food supply."
They believe he deliberately contaminated the chicken-feed with infectious materials and is using the chicken embryos as biological weapons against our country.
At the same news conference some positive news, that will help calm the fears of egg lovers were released.
Dr. Frank Perdue Jr, a professor of medical engineering at Purdue University, has invented a hard boiled egg boilermaker. According to Dr. Perdue, When the "Perdue Boilermaker" reaches maximum temperature it will kill all the toxins in the egg.
Not completely satisfied with the good news or the pace of the investigation thousands of Mother hens will be flying south to Washington this labor day weekend to protest
They don't believe Obama is doing enough to catch the bio-terrorist Sal Monella.
Atilia De Hen a spokeschicken for the flock said, "This would never happen if we had president with military experience like Colonel Sanders or somebody with law enforcement background that can put a whipping on their butt. Somebody like a Sheriff Rooster Cockburn."
We spoke to poultry community organizer Meg Benedict who organized the large labor day march called "The Sal Leggo my Eggo" march.
"We need to resolve this problem as soon as possible people need to know that eggs are chicken embryos"? All conservative pro-life activists are invited to back our efforts.
