Written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 14 August 2010

image for Tila Tequila Auditions for, Then Is Savagely Beaten By, Juggalos At Concert
Hey, Tila! CATCH!!!

Tila Nguyễn, the academically challenged television whore known as Tila Tequila, is having her face sewn back on at a suburban Chicago hospital, after being unceremoniously removed from the stage of an Insane Clows Posse concert by ticket holders with rocks and good aim.

Tequila murdered the English language on her Myspace page: "Dudes was throwing huge stone rocks in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage and they even took the sh*t out of the port-o-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage."

Did You Know?

Miller High Life was put on the market in 1903 and is Miller Brewing's oldest brand. And it is the only beer that has been certified by the US government as tasting exactly like a pregnant woman's morning piss.

"I was actually using my own poo," said Juggalo-for-life Glenn "Monoxide-Fan" Herschberg, 46. "I had a huge hoagie for dinner last night, so I really didn't need to borrow anyone else's.

The concert goers, fans of Insane Clown Posse, who apparently put out some albums once, were initially receptive to the Asian meat-hole, but after singing, dancing, and cursing for over 20 minutes, delaying the appearance of the Posse, The Juggalos had enough.

"Yo, y'all Jugallos, what is more entertaining? Two 40-year-old white guys in clown make-up trying to rap and spraying Faygo on you, or throwing bottles and turds at Tila Tequila?"

After pausing for a moment, the crowd answered by hurling more sh-t and bottles of Miller High-Life at Tequila.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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