Eliot Spitzer Show on CNN: "Client 9" at 8, 7 Central

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Eliot Spitzer Show on CNN: "Client 9" at 8, 7 Central
My career!!! Noooooooo!

Disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, the man who crusaded to put away lawbreakers until we all learned that he paid women to fellate him, will have his own prime time show at the top of CNN's nightly lineup.

"The Love Gov Show" is expected to boost CNN's sh-tty ratings in their prime-time lineup, preceeding "Larry King Prays For A Solid Bowel Movement" and "Anderson Cooper's 360 Degree Closet".

"CNN just lost the struggle for its soul," sighed one exasperated worker at the once-dominant cable station, whose ratings have slumped in recent years. It is like Ginsu Knives using O.J. Simpson in their ads.

(Ginsu Knives responded, "What a great idea!! The Ginsu Knife can slice through an ex-wife's neck and still cut a tomato. Wait. . . No, maybe that's not so good.")

CNN has confirmed that Client 9 will be co-hosing an 8 p.m. show on weeknights with syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker, some tight-assed conservative who ostensibly will not lick Spitzer's knob, at any price.

Rejected named for the show included:

"Eliot Spitzer: How Much for Half-And-Half,"
"Are You A Cop?"
"Eliot Spitzer, Presented By craigslist.com's 'Adult Situations Wanted' "
and "Discreet And Safe, Out-call Only"

Interestingly, Ashley Dupre, the high-priced escort whose dalliance with Spitzer led to his resignation, said, "I think everyone in life deserves a second chance . . . As for the show, if it's not on Fox, I'm not watching it. Because, you know, I am a devout conservative, except for the fact that I let strangers make my ovaries sticky for cash.'"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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