Jackson, Mississippi - Prominent Jackson Mississippi family member, Joe Michael, today announced that he will be taking legal action against skin bleach cream manufacturer Honky-A-Go-Go after his son turned so white he was blinding.
Michael claims that his son started using the bleaching agent in order to disguise extensive cosmetic surgery procedures.
He claims that shortly after Emjay started using the cream he turned so damned white that the reflection of the sun off his skin dazzled passing motorists.
Shortly afterwards, Emjay's nose fell off, his voice broke, and his butt disappeared.
According to Joe, Emjay's skin was so reflective that he couldn't go outdoors without an umbrella, and that he inadvertently set fire to his own head while dazzled by his own epidermal glow, which led to Emjay going almost completely bald, and having to wear a really ridiculous wig.
"He also started taking an unhealthy interest in small male children, chimpanzees, llamas and exotic albino snakes," Joe told our reporter. "It wuz the skin bleach cream that did for him. He wuz fine 'til he started using that shit. It's what got him started with the pain killers. Just like that other fella from Indiana. The one with the glove and the moonwalk stuff. I read in the paper that he got a little weird after he started using that Honky-A-Go-Go shit too - and I ain't letting 'em git away wid it."
Emjay is still alive, unlike the other guy, and is currently employed as a solar panel at the Hollywood Bowl.
More as we get it.
