Andrew Cuomo Noodled By Lazio and Paladino

Funny story written by Rick Andrew Carl

Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Andrew Cuomo Noodled By Lazio and Paladino
Carl Paladino eats pasta with ketchup!

Republican candidates Rick Lazio and Carl Paladino issued dueling press releases attacking Democrat Andrew Cuomo over the Lasagna-Gate scandal. The NY Governor race is getting spicy.

Cuomo was caught the other day in a dispute between his mother and his girlfriend. Mom, a traditional Italian-American, commented negatively on the girlfriend's published recipe which includes cottage cheese instead of ricotta. She felt it was especially bad on a Wednesday because "everyone knows it's Prince spaghetti day."

In a radio interview Cuomo insisted that his girlfriend makes a good lasagna, but dodged the question as to whether he'd ever eaten it.

The Rick Lazio press release called the incident a disgrace to Italian-Americans. Lazio, whose formal first name is Enrico, is the son of Italian immigrants.

Paladino, also of Italian descent, said "Andrew Cuomo has taken this liberal thing too far." He called for Cuomo, the state's Attorney General, to investigate his own girlfriend. He also promised to bring his baseball bat and drag the girlfriend to Attica.

As went to press, Buffalo website WNYmedia revealed evidence that Paladino ate spaghetti with ketchup as recently as 2007. Paladino campaign manager Michael Caputo denounced the accusation as "just another liberal media schmear."

Libertarian candidate Warren Redlich castigated Caputo for improper use of the word "schmear," claiming it reflected an underlying anti-Semitism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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