Written by SirBeavis

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

image for New Bi-Partisan Commission The Only Way To Stop Flow Of Oil
The crisis is over…we have a bureaucratic commission and Lord Obama's face has miraculously appeared in the slick!

WASHINGTON - Fire booms failed. So did a behemoth box, a secondary pipe to siphon leaking oil, and the EPA doesn't want BP using a EPA approved oil dispersant to minimize environmental damage from oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico miles below the surface. Nobody knows of a sure fire way to stop the flow of oil into the gulf...until now.

In this Friday's weekly address, President Obama announced he has issued an executive order creating a bipartisan National Commission on the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill and Offshore Drilling. This commission is tasked with recommending ways we can prevent and mitigate the impact of any future spills that result from offshore drilling.

When questioned about the wisdom of dedicating Federal focus and assets on a study group to mitigate future disasters, instead of solving the current crisis first, then investigating the causes and fixes, White House Press Secretary Robert "Dances Around The Question Like A Ballerina" Gibbs stated:

"Blah blah blah blah blah, BP's fault, blah blah blah blah, since day one, blah blah blah, boots on throats, blah blah, the commission will use the force, blah blah blah, stop the leak, blah blah, George Bush's fault, blah blah hope and change."

Further statements from the White House seem to indicate a belief that this commission will somehow stop the leak without even approaching the Gulf of Mexico.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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