Feud Between Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Intensifies

Written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

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The feud that has been brewing between "America's Truth Detector," Rush Limbaugh and America's most vigilant "Rodeo Clown," Glenn Beck, ramped up a notch this week after news got out that Beck, with no more than a high school education was given an honorary doctorate in humanities from Liberty University. Liberty is a fundamentalist Baptist school located in Lynchburg, Virginia.

Limbaugh, mentioned the award on his show Monday with this "So, stop me if you've heard this one folks. It's about a no-talent, uneducated hack that happens to get himself bestowed with an honorary doctorate from some fundamentalist Christian college, and, and, and (he stutters) he's a freakin' Mormon for chrissakes. Are Mormons even American?"

He didn't stop there. Limbaugh went on to tell his audience "if it weren't for me, Beck would still be doing stand-up schtick on some local radio station's morning show with 'Bubba the Bull' as his sidekick."

Not long after that segment aired, Beck showed up on his show wearing the commencement gown he'd received from Liberty University and, standing in front of his blackboard, he announced "today friends, we are going to give Rush Limbaugh some much-needed schoolin'." He then launched into a ten-minute explanation about how honorary doctorates are even more real than regular doctorates because they show Beck as having come from the school of hard knocks, the hardest school in the land to graduate from. "This proves I ain't no dummy in a clown suit."

From there, it got personal. "Rush used to be like a dad to me," claimed Beck, tears falling from his eyes. "We had the same dreams, the same goals, the same drug habits, the same hang-ups," as he fell to his knees, "yes, the same sins of the flesh," he sobbed. "And through it all, we remained friends, that is, until that fateful day that I moved on from radio to television and Rush didn't. You see, folks, Rush is fat and not too pretty, and just doesn't have the television persona I do." Then Beck rose to his feet and announced a gold commercial in his usual, hyperactive style with the words "Rush Limbaugh, drugs, sins, fat" displayed on the blackboard behind him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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