Fake Head in Suitcase Gets Comedian Arrested

Funny story written by Charpa93

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

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Decapitation Station

Police are still scratching their heads over an incident this past weekend that resulted in a woman being rushed to the emergency room and a comedian heading off to jail.

"It was a spur of the moment thing, really," explained Shawn (not his real name). "I was sitting there in the train depot, waiting for my train, with my suitcase by my side, when a portly woman comes and sits beside me and the suitcase. Unfortunately for me, she was a talkative one, and asks where I'm going, so I politely tell her uptown, and turn away. But she continued. She talked on, non-stop for about ten minutes and I finally had enough."

Shawn lit a cigarette and continued, "I couldn't allow this woman one more word, or I felt I could strangle her, and then I remembered the fake severed head in my suitcase-I used it in my shows. It's real as real can get. Anyway, I acted like I'd forgotten where I'd put my train ticket, checking all my pockets and finding nothing, when I then said to her 'sheesh, I'd forget my head if it wasn't fastened on' and then I opened the suitcase."

The woman's name is being withheld until her family can be notified. Meanwhile, Shawn sits in jail awaiting arraignment for unintentional assault.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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