Kate Gosselin Jonesing for Katie Holmes' Life

Written by Charpa93

Thursday, 22 April 2010

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So far, Kate Gosselin's attempt at becoming a big name in Hollywood has failed miserably, but that isn't keeping her from her dream of some day having her name associated with stardom. Perhaps all those lonely, angry housewives who've been in Kate's corner from day one hoping that she'll eventually live up to their expectations of being a good mother to her 8 darling children will finally wake up and smell the Sanka. KATE DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE HOLLYWOOD!

As we've said all along, once Kate got a taste of what it was like to have someone else do everything for her, it was hasta la vista working mom, and hello prima dona. This time around with DWTS she was treated to the best meals, the best hotels and the nicest clothing because let's face it, DWTS has a reputation to maintain even when trying to turn frumpy housewives into gorgeous dancing partners.

And so it goes. Kate's recently said to be in serious Jones mode for a life like that of Katie Holmes. Here's a clue, Kate. This is yet another clue about how far from reality (no pun intended) that Kate's thinking is. Katie Holmes nice, sweet, likeable. Kate Gosselin, not so much. Katie Holmes still married to the father of her one kid, Kate Gosselin not married to the father of her eight kids. Odds are, ain't gonna happen, babe.

But that isn't stopping Gosselin. Kate is looking for a man who suits her needs to become another beautiful and rich face in Hollywood. She reportedly has her eyes on Jeff Goldblum and David Hasselhoff, both of which have appeared to fall off the face of the earth within a matter of minutes of hearing the news.

How far from reality do you think Kate's thinking has become? She honestly believes that she is of the ilk that would make her a desirable mate to some rich, successful celebrity like Jeff Goldblum. Hmm, let's see how that'd play out:

Kate: Hi, I want to speak to Jeff Goldblum. Get him on the phone now.

Jeff: Hello, may I help you?

Kate: Jeff, Kate Gosselin here. I need a mate. You're my choice. Be at my place in 30.

Jeff: Kate who?

Kate: Gosselin, Gosselin, you moron, the dancing star.

Jeff: bzzzzzzzzzzzzz

At least Kate hasn't entirely lost it. We hear that even she thinks she's not ready for the big leagues yet, i.e. George Clooney, who, by the way has reportedly gone into hiding as well as of the breaking of this story.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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