Johnny Carson: Never Lived in Nebraska !

Funny story written by Morgan Truce

Monday, 24 January 2005

image for Johnny Carson: Never Lived in Nebraska !

LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) Johnny Carson's death has stirred great interest in Nebraska. Governor Mike Johanns has been busy taking calls from newspapers and TV stations all across the country about Johnny Carson's early days in Nebraska. "First off, I have to tell you… Johnny Carson NEVER lived in Nebraska! We looked through all our records and cannot find any mention of Johnny Carson or even the family name Carson. I don't know where he grew up, but it wasn't in Nebraska! And don't go poking around in Iowa… I just spoke with Iowa officials and they haven't heard of any Johnny Carson either!"

Sure enough, a quick check of the birth records in Iowa turned up absolutely nothing for Johnny Carson!

Spoof reporters spoke with the Dean of the University of Nebraska. "We never gave any degree to anyone with the name of Johnny Carson. As far as I can tell, Johnny Carson never even took a night class here. I used to watch Johnny on the Tonight Show years ago… pretty smart guy, but he didn't get his education here."

Across the country in New Jersey (of all places) a local Spoof reporter, Morgan Truce, has been uncovering the long forgotten family history of Johnny Carson. Johnny was born in Newark, New Jersey in 1925, grew up in nearby East Orange, and graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University.

As the news of Johnny Carson's New Jersey roots began to spread across the country, fans of the great TV legend began asking themselves, "Why did Johnny Carson tell everyone he was from Nebraska? Why was he so ashamed of being from New Jersey?"

A childhood friend, who wished to remain anonymous, said, "In grammar school Johnny Carson told all of us that he wished he were from some place like Nebraska. He would spend all of his time reading books about Nebraska. I think he even got his family to take him on a weekend visit to Nebraska one time. But Johnny Carson was a New Jersey boy through and through."

With Johnny Carson's death, no one will ever be able to find out for sure why he made up all that stuff about Nebraska.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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