SAN FRANCISCO - A brief investigation has revealed intoxication to be a factor which likely contributed to a near collision in the skies over SFO this weekend.
According to the noted San Francisco satirist, a staggering homeless man - likely carrying more than 251 tiny passengers - launched a ragged size 9 1/2 Nikey Air at 8:15 a.m., which cleared a low-hanging branch, but failed to connect with its intended target, a westbound pigeon weighing approximately 14 ounces.
The pigeon quickly spotted the approaching shoe and altered its course, flying south.
A guy who lives down the street said the same man who threw the shoe had been seen earlier "consuming whiskey out of the exact same shoe," SFO told a friend in an e-mail.
"In fact, the pigeon probably smelled him coming a mile away," he noted, indicating that the bird was probably never in any immediate danger.
"Somebody please remind me again why I moved to this city," he added.
