In the greatest scandal to ever hit the nation Rep. Barney Frank was caught in a tryst with a woman at a nearby no tell motel.
Details are just emerging but the woman is confirmed as having been born female and more shocking is of legal age.
The Obama administration immediately distanced itself from the pervert.
"This is unacceptable behavior and completely contrary to our party's mandates. I fear this will destroy our 'Leave no Child's Behind' initiative going forward, or backward in this case."
Details continue to baffle since not only was the woman extremely attractive but she was not a prostitute.
"Oh it was consensual but I had no idea who he was." The vivacious twenty five year old satire writer blushed. "It was an answer to an ad I placed on craigslist. At first I was kinda concerned about serial killers and such but I was desperate. I have a unique and rare birth defect, a very tiny vagina, and needed to find a man with a teeny wonker. He sent me a picture and I decided to take a chance."
Unfortunately the former Ms. Frank, Chairman of the house Finance Committee, was more than willing to discuss the issue.
"The plain truth is I was bored. I mean my party had been salivating for fifty years about getting a hold of America's checkbook and though we have squeezed over three trillion in the last eighteen months it's just not fun anymore."
When reminded that all the country cares about is celebrity trash.
"Oh yeah, well I haven't had sex with a woman since my mother died and thought I would give it a try. I think I'm in love. I never thought something so wrong could feel so right. I'm a changed man. Since that fateful night I dream constantly about her and during the day I think of wonderful things like balancing my checkbook, going to the synagogue, getting a real job and maybe even converting to Christianity. I plan on evaluating my stand on everything and perhaps even becoming a Republican; if they'll have me."
That cracking sound you hear is the new hockey rink covering hell.
