Subo culture ARRAS sect rescued at sea

Funny story written by Nae mair crap

Friday, 26 February 2010

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The US coastguard were involved in a dramatic rescue 400 miles east of Connecticut this morning.

Earlier a passing Virgin Atlantic flight from London to New York had raised the alert when a passenger, believed to be the singer Susan Boyle spotted a small yacht with red sails apparently stuck to an iceberg.

A US coastguard air sea rescue helicopter flew over the yacht and immediately radioed for assistance. The helicopter could not approach the iceberg as the crew feared that they could crash.

A US coastguard sea patrol were first on the scene and the captain give us this account of the rescue.

"I could not believe my eyes," he said, "here in iceberg alley was a motor yacht, named "Blessing Blackburn" with huge red sails. The sails appear to be made of thousands of squares of material, sewed together. What is even more strange is that each square carries a name, I guess, of the person who made the square. Each square also carried the same message, Thank you for your $25 contribution! I have never seen anything like it."

The captain confirmed that there were 8 people on board. 5 women (one who was found on the iceberg)and 3 men. They all wore red scarves, he explained, except the iceberg lady who was dressed head to toe in a one piece red plastic number and wearing a strange crown with many points on her head. He laughed as he related how the lady danced back and forth on the iceberg, singing, ra, ra, aireheads here, rumma, rumma never fear, ga ga ooh la la, piersybaby I'm here ha ha ha.

It is understood the lady had suffered a recent traumatic, ritual expulsion from a sect and would never recover her faculties.

As to why they were in the Atlantic Ocean one male on board had explained to the captain that he had a huge interest in tracking certain aircraft and wanted to test his skills in a busy trans Atlantic route as not many planes flew over his home in Ecuador.

Examination of the small yacht revealed nothing out of the ordinary except thousands of copies of the "I Dreamed a Dream" CD by the Scottish spinster, Susan Boyle. One of the males on board reportedly said, I bought barrowloads to give out to anyone passing by.

The rescued passengers were taken for medical examination ashore, this will include extensive mental health tests according to a US coastguard official.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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