An Insurance Company has just announced that they are canceling thousands of home owner policies in Florida. The reason: "Hurricanes are a pre-existing condition in Florida."
A spokesman said: "These people knew that hurricanes were a pre-existing condition when they took out the policies. They tricked us, and they have no right to expect compensation for their losses. We are not in the welfare business. We are in the profit making business and this kind of socialism has no place in our democracy. We are taking a hard look at Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana. If the wind gets over fifty-five miles an hour, they're out of here. We have any problems with the government, we will lay off all of the Congressman and Senators on our payroll."
Consumer advocates are enraged at this action. "We will not take this lying down," said a spokesman. "This is totally outrageous and unprecedented. Who do these companies think they are?"
When told of this reaction The spokesman replied, "Not unprecedented at all. The health insurance folks have been doing it for years. And now," he continued, "the new health care bill is going to give them forty million more customers! What are we, some kind of poor relatives? And while you're at it, you can tell Ed Shultz to stick it in his ear!"
In other breaking news, Goldman Sachs has announced they are purchasing all of the Dog Racing Tracks and Jai Alai frontons in the northern hemisphere. "This is just the start," stated CEO of the company. "We are looking at the NFL and the NBA and of course the referees associated with the sports. We are not going to get caught with our pants down again, like in the derivatives. As for me, I am taking my bonus and buying up all of the Indian reservations. God bless America!"