Written by susan allen-rosario

Tuesday, 5 October 2004

Crawford, Texas - George W. Bush, when not in Washington, DC, is a volunteer at a local elementary school, in his hometown of Crawford, Texas, reading picture books on science, to young children. But there are some problems.

Mr. Bush, while a very loyal and enthusiastic volunteer reader, has a very apparent language problem. He seems to have a language processing deficit, or perhaps a form of dyslexia, in which he cannot retain the correct pronunciation of words in his mind. There have been many times when teachers have sought to correct him, but backed off when the Secret Service agents told them to, "Let it go, he's the President."

"It was necessary for us, (the school's staff) due in part to his speech problem, and our inability to correct him, that we have asked him not to return," said the school's principle, Gwen Henderson. Ms. Henderson also related that teachers were so afraid of his reaction to the dismissal, that they asked his wife Laura, to give him the bad news.

"We have heard that he doesn't like to be corrected or told what to do, so we were very hesitant to approach him regarding this issue." When questioned about what Mr. Bush was given to read to the students, they said; "Mr. Bush was asked to read the students science picture books, addressing alternative energy sources and the conservation of fossil fuels. These books were geared towards very young children, with large colorful pictures to illustrate the content of the written material."

"Mr. Bush seemed to stumble over several of the larger words, such as dinosaur, when speaking of fossil fuels and their origins, and totally mispronounced other words, when speaking of alternative energy, such as nuclear and hydroelectric power plants. He completely left out the ‘e' in electrical and pronounced it as ‘hydrolectrical!"

"We don't want to be responsible for a generation of children growing up mispronouncing words such as ‘electrical' or ‘nuclear.' George W. is not an idiot, but he sounds like one, when he says these words the way he does."

"Many of the children we teach, have English as a second language. We want them to learn the ‘Kings' English, as they say, and not the ‘Presidents. This is one fight the ‘English' must win."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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