Warren Redlich Does Not Exist, According to Newspapers

Funny story written by NickFun

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

image for Warren Redlich Does Not Exist, According to Newspapers
Judith Cranston of Albany, NY reads no mention of Warren Redlich

The New York Times, Wall Street Journal and other New York newspapers and television stations are trying to maintain their journalistic bias by attempting to ignore Libertarian Candidate Warren Redlich in his bid for governor.

New York Times reporter Jimmy Francobitch stated that the newspaper will only report on Democrats and Republicans. "The Times only prints all the news that's fit to print", Francobitch stated. "Third parties and especially them godless Libertarians ain't fit to print!"

Francobitch also stated that readers become confused if offered more than two choices for a political candidate.

"We did a very good job of ignoring Ron Paul", said New York Times correspondent Judith Wilcox. "A lot of people didn't even know he was running even though he made more money in one day than any candidate in history! Out of site, out of mind."

For those of you who read the papers, Ron Paul was running for president as a Republican but most news reporters knew he was actually a Libertarian and chose to ignore him.

Special interest groups also stated that the Libertarians wanted to do away with their influence and threatened to withdraw support from candidates if they even discussed the matter.

I would say more but I am a member of the press and I have said too much already.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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