A new insight into Rush Limbaugh's mysterious hospitalization in Hawaii last week has come to light. Originally reported as being a possible heart attack, it now appears that Mr. Limbaugh actually got a pummeling.
Just 'happening' to be in the 50th state at the same time as President Barak Obama, it turns out that Limbaugh was actually part of a plot to make sure that the President never got a moments rest from Fox New's endless anti-Obama onslaught.
Using his celebrity status to gain entry everywhere that Obama went, the right pundit harassed the President at every opportunity. Using techniques he learned in the fifth grade, Limbaugh even resorted to tapping into the hotline phone and pretended that the US was under attack from Bhutan.
On the golf course Rush, masquerading as an over age caddie, would sneak up and throw Obama's balls into the sand traps. Harassing midnight telephone calls of tar baby jokes and comments about a 'new career shining shoes' became a nightly headache. The last straw came during a quiet evening dinner with relatives at a local restaurant when Limbaugh, pretending to be a bus boy, substituted Koolaid for the wine the Obamas had ordered.
Recognizing Limbaugh, Obama proved he was not a total pacifist by successful doing a Mike Tyson on Limbaugh's head. Since that was the least sensitive part of the man's body it took a few extra blows to bring him to meet the floor.
Unfortunately, President Obama was forced to return the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of the ruckus.