Warren Beatty memoir puts Tiger Woods philandering 'in bush-league'

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 4 January 2010

image for Warren Beatty memoir puts Tiger Woods philandering 'in bush-league'
Bush league, huh?

New York - (Small Potatoes): A new biography of screen legend Warren Beatty sets the benchmark for celeb shagging at 'around 13,000,' easily eclipsing current top US lothario Tiger Woods.

According to the memoir the 72 year-old movie actor, director and procducer's lifetime achievement figures are based on a conservative estimate of 'roughly four women a week.'

"More like four rough women a week!" an LA FagHagSlagMag book review commented today following a survey of possible also-rans, hand-jobs, massage parlor trysts, drive-bys and vanity-shags.

By comparison golf champ Tiger Woods' alleged tally of 18 mistresses in the last six years represents 'a drop in the bucket' - albeit a promising start to a potentially high-flying philandering career.

Officially Beatty's tally includes - in no particular order - Madonna, Jane Fonda, Isabelle Adjani, Diane Keaton, Joan Collins, Julie Christie and current wife Annette Bening.

Also on the rota are Natalie Wood, Goldie Hawn, Diana Dors, Faye Dunaway, Halle Berry, Eva Saint Marie, Ali McGraw, Leslie Caron, Audrey Hepburn, Susannah York, Jean Seberg, Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minelli, Sophia Loren, Gina Lolobrigida, Helen Mirren, Anne Bancroft, Vivien Leigh, Jill St John, Julia Roberts, Cindy Crawford, Ava Gardener, Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Catherine Deneuve, Romy Schneider, Paula Prentiss, Ursula Andress, Nyree Dawn Porter, Jamie Lee Curtis, Stockard Channing, Dyan Cannon, Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Glenda Jackson, Julie Andrews, Nancy Reagan 'and Arianna Huffington'.

Elin Nordegren Woods was 30 on New Year's Day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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