HOLLYWOOD - Jaime Foxx has just been signed to portray Tiger Woods in The Candlelight Motion Picture Company's movie, Tiger Woods - The Player And His Bevy of Bitches.
The film will be A Hole-In-One Production in association with Sand Trap Limited and Wandering Putter Unlimited.
The motion picture will deal with the infamous "Golf Gate" saga and will have a tremendous air of authenticity as it will be filmed on the actual property, home, and driveway of Tiger Wood's palatial mansion La Casa Del Putter in Orlando, Florida.
Woods reportedly agreed to have the movie shot on his property and inside his home in exchange for him being hired as one of the film's consultants.
Tiger was promised by the British director, Buckminster Shakespeare (no relation to William) that they would make sure that his side of the story was accurately portrayed no matter how unbelievably ridiculous it may sound to the average person.
Woods will allow Shakespeare the use of his personal diary which is filled with dozens and dozens of as yet unreleased facts including the reputed fact that 11 of the 12 women known as "The Golf Gate Girls" are basically lying through their cute little upturned botoxed noses.
Tiger Woods maid, Paprika LaTibia Madison, is thrilled beyond belief as she has been hired to portray herself in the film.
Woods maternal grandmother Floaletta LaShasta Falstaff will have a cameo role as an Orlando homeless woman whom Tiger befriends and takes to McDonald's where he buys her some Chicken McNuggets and a chocolate milk shake (no pun intended, implied, or otherwise suggested).
The film will most probably have an R rating due to sexual sexuality, explicit language, suggestive suggestions, and concocted connotations.
In related news. Rev. Al Sharpton reportedly called up Buckminster Shakespeare and asked if he could appear in the movie. Shakespeare informed him that he had no part in the movie for a fat, egomaniacal, self-centered, arrogant, African-American shithead.
