Written by Bureau

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

image for Postal Service Warns Presidential Threats Must Be Mailed By Tomorrow For Guaranteed Christmas Delivery

The United States Postal Service Warned today Dec 16th, that threats to the President must be posted no later than Friday, December 18th to reach the White House in time for Christmas. President Obama is already receiving up to 9,000 per month.

The U.S. Postal service is trying to get the word out that it's almost too late to threaten President Obama unless you get that threat in the mail soon or it won't reach him in time for Christmas.

"This President is receiving three times the threats of previous president George Bush whom you had until December 15-16th"to mail", stated Postmaster General, John Potter. It's already too late for packages with anthrax or bombs."

The most recent president to receive the fewest threats was George Bush Sr. whom most people always seemed to think of as the Vice President.

According to our records", stated the Postmaster General, 'the most packages for any President ever, came in to President Bill Clinton.

"While records show that Clinton got several suspicious packages, most of them that we checked or blew up contained women's panties."

He stated that the only one loaded with explosives and left for Clinton, was not sent through the mail but somehow found under the Christmas tree, labeled "From Moniker". The misspelling is what made us suspicious.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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