Silk Purse Manufacturer Goes Under

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Thursday, 30 April 2009

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Designer silk purse maker Louis Hamvuitton has called in the receivers after failing to secure supplies of suitable raw materials. Trading standards officers have confirmed that they can no longer make their products from sows' ears due to constraints of pig products following the recent swine flu outbreak.

Managing Director Andy Bagg told us: "We have been in business for forty years, and have made silk purses from sows' ears in the traditional way all that time. Now they suddenly tell us we can't make silk purses out of sows' ears any more."

The company has tried making their purses out of other materials, but without much success. "We did some tests using cows' lips and sheep tails, but customers just didn't like them. When we tried canine scrotums people thought they looked, well, like the cat's whiskers, so to speak, but they attracted too much interest from the owners' pet dogs."

Mr Bagg puts the blame for his company's troubles firmly on the Government. "If it wasn't for their sudden ban on using pig parts we would have weathered the recession without any problems. It's typical of MPs to penalise struggling businesses while keeping their own snouts in the trough. If you ask me they've made a complete pig's ear of the whole thing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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