President Barack O'Bama announced his recovery plan for Main Street today. The Prez said that the US must "spend its way out of recession."
Demonstrating his complete conversion to private banker boy mentalities, the President suggested that "inflation without the goods" is "just inflation".
O'Bama did not mention exactly where the money would come from that would be used to "spend", but was seen with wads of freshly printed cash hanging out his own pants pockets.
A White House spokesman and former Goldman Sachs executive noted that "using borrowed dollars at US taxpayer expense for spending saved private bankers from their recession, so why wouldn't taxpayers spending real dollars save save them from their depression?
A cigar belching Rush Limbaugh immediately held his own press conference afterwords along with Bill "irrelevant factor" O'Reilly. The two chimed in unison that what the US should do to pull out of the current depression is confiscate all private gold holdings and escalate war against what ever countries exist that have assets and can't defend themselves.
Representatives for the O'Bama administration in response reiterated the fact that Limbaugh is a known drug abuser, and O'Reilly was once photographed with Berta Butt Boogie siting on his face.
Outside, throngs of penniless citizens were seen chanting, holding up signs and yelling" Show Me the Money!, Show Me the Money!
After several hours and with the crowds noted as becoming irritated by the lack of response, a new administration representative emerged to address the crowd. Bernard Madoff, a recently appointed insider and Chief Fraudster Opportunist (CFO) from several prior administrations, told the angry crowd that unfortunately they had been duped - that "paper money" is not "real money" and is actually a hoax, and the government has no "no excuse" for its behavior".
Reporting from Homer Simpson City,