Uga, the University of Georgia Mascot Dead of Broken Heart

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Sunday, 22 November 2009

image for Uga, the University of Georgia Mascot Dead of Broken Heart
Two of several bitches claiming a portion of Uga's estate.

ATHENS, GA (ABSNN) -- "It is with the utmost sadness that I must report upon the death of Uga the bulldog, revered mascot of the University of Georgia Sports Teams," said some idiotic spokesperson for the university on Friday.

Details of the dog's demise are sketchy, but it has been known for many months that since the death of Ginger, the Taco Bell Spokespooch (and Uga's longtime lover) that the bulldog had refused most meals, all doggie treats, and had even stop smelling the asses of the UGA cheerleaders, male and female.

"For the fist time in many decades the University of Georgia Bulldogs will take the field without a bulldog named Uga on the sidelines," said the same idiotic spokesperson.

Tryout for a new Uga will be held after a proper mourning period (about 20 seconds) the university told reporters.

"It's not like the dog helped us beat archrival Florida," said a UGA football player. "But he was a fucking chick magnet."

Several stray female canines in the immediate Athens area showed up claiming to have had several litters of puppies by Uga, but in his will Uga stated that he had no known children and that all of his estate would go to the erection of an "appropriate monumnet" to Ginger to be placed over his grave.

Unfortunately, Uga was cremated with several other dogs and all the ashes were discarded into the Athens Landfill.

"I gusess we'll just build the damned statue there," said head cheerleader, Ima Dipshit.

Rah, rah, rah.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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