At first it was regarded as a silly joke. A punchline around the cocktail circuit, "ain't never going to happen." But the Brazilian Male Wax Law gained sufficient support in both houses of Congress, to catapult into law as an amendment attached to the defense appropriations bill. And who is going to vote against protecting our troops?
Protesters, (all male) insist that the law invades their privacy and right to choose whether to wax or not wax; to remain teddy bear fuzzy or bullet slick. They argue that since the beginning of time men have gone full-blown commando on their mezzanine, but passage of the wax law brings their right to choose to a screeching halt.
And since when does the government have the right to decide private mezzanine issues?
The triple right wing family values grassroots cleanliness is next to godliness movement of the homeland - proudly calling themselves the 'Soda Shakers' - insist that the male mezzanine is the sacred holy tabernacle of civilization and must be kept tidy.
Financially backed by the wax division of the giant pharmaceutical group - Got Pain? - the company gave their lobbyists blank checks to fund House and Senate campaigns and promote approval for the passage of the male wax law. With substantial contributions to members of both houses, the amendment was quickly snapped up and added to the defense appropriations bill faster than you can pull a wax strip off an upper lip.
While men in the anti-wax movement plan to mobilize and fire-bomb spa waxing facilities across the homeland, stock prices for Honey-bee Delight Wax, a division of giant pharmaceutical - Got Pain? - have skyrocketed. In the constant hunt for profits, other pharmaceutical corporations have started turning their attention away from pain killers to wax depilatories.
The Male Brazilian Wax Law will legislate how men must maintain their mezzanine, and that men must comply with a yearly appointment for a waxing before they can renew their Passports, drivers or gun licenses. Lastly, the law stipulates that all three must be renewed on a yearly basis.
Soda Shakers are pleased as punch!
Read more by this author: