BROKEN ARROW, Oklahoma - The Oklahoma based Coalition Helping Indians Enjoy Fairness (CHIEF) has filed a national lawsuit against the Democratic Party asking that they stop using the phrase Red State when referring to states that lean toward the Democrat party.
Chief Gift Horse-In-The-Mouth of the Comanche tribe and president of CHIEF, said that within the past year alone he has received over 700,000 emails from concerned Native Americans stating that each time that they hear the term Red State it greatly offends them, upsets them, and in some cases it makes them vomit.
When asked if CHIEF had any problem with the Republicans using the term Blue State Chief Gift Horse, as he is called for short, said that he did not give a rat's a*s if the Republicans used the term Blue State or not.
He then added that the only group that the term Blue State would probably offend would be the Smurfs or maybe some homeless Eskimos.
Chief Horsey, for even shorter, was then asked what color would he like for the Democratic Party to replace the term Red State with?
He said that they could use Green State. When told that it would probably offend the Green Peace People he then suggested Yellow State.
The chief was told that the name would probably offend the people of Asian descent. The Comanche chief said how about Gray State? Nope the elderly people would get all upset. Lavender State?...Pink State? No go. The gays and lesbians would get all pissed off.
Chief Gift Horse-In-The-Mouth finally said, "Look you know what dammit? On second thought, just leave the friggin name Red State the way it is. Hell, I'll just learn to live with the mofoing name."
As the chief got into his red Toyota Camry to drive off he rolled down the window and said that next week he was going to travel to Washington D.C. and see about getting the owners of The Washington Redskins to change the highly offensive name of their team.
In a related story. Noted Indian author Evelyn Eager Beaver has just released her new book entitled "How" which is based on General George Armstrong Custer's belief that Sitting Bull's Oglala Sioux had WMDs (Wigwams of Mass Destruction).