Nation Celebrates Joe Patroni Day

Funny story written by Adam Click

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

image for Nation Celebrates Joe Patroni Day
The plane Joe Patroni liberated from that snow bank hangs above the crowds in the concourse of Los angeles International

Chicago, IL - Amidst all the economic turmoil and other doom and gloom, the nation paused today to celebrate Joe Patroni Day. Named after the man whose indomitable spirit and refusal to give up in the face of fifty snowplows bearing down on him while trying to free a jumbo jet, earned him a place in the nation's heart.

As documented in the movie, "Airport", Joe Patroni single-handedly freed the jet, which had become stuck in a snowdrift, blocking the only open run way at O'Hare airport in Chicago during a fierce snowstorm. He freed the plane by rocking it back and forth violently until it finally came free and moved just far enough out of the way for a crippled airliner to land safely. The plane Mr. Patroni freed now hangs in the concourse of Los Angles International Airport where the crippled airplane's flight began.

"Here's to you, Mr. Airplane Mechanic!", boasts a popular beer commercial presently airing on American TV. "Determination, pass it on!", states a billboard ad appearing across the country along side a picture of the instantly recognizable Mr. Patroni sporting his ever-present cigar stub. All over the land today people will be hoisting a cold frosty mug in on honor of Mr. Patoni, and enjoying his favorite meal of a Chicago style hot dog and fries.

"Around here the celebration starts early!" exclaimed Morty Sienfeld, owner of Morty's Tavern, on State Street in Chicago. "People start lining up outside about Four in the morning and by noon this place is crammed. It's the best day of the year for me outside of our Festivus celebration, and just as rowdy!".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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