Alive II - The Story of the Andy Survivors

Funny story written by Alexandria177

Monday, 26 October 2009


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The hilltop of Andy remained unconquered that day

Chicago, Illinois - In a region of the nation known for it's flatness, four brave yuppies dared to challenge Andy Hill, a rough hill that soars up 4,500 feet above sea level, and towers over the prosperous suburb below, on and all around it.

These yuppies did not come without preparation, for they knew that the estimated 2 hour hike was regarded as "grueling" by most of the businessmen, soccer moms and cub scouts who had tackled it before. Not only did they carry backpacks with several hundred dollars worth of gear and freeze dried food, but the latest in space age technology - the Personal Locator Beacon.

This device has been of inestimable value to adventurers in that one can hit the button on it, and it guides Emergency Services Personnel to you to effect a rescue. At least it is believed that it would be of such value to adventurers. So far only yuppies have used it, though.

Case in point, the stalwart four who tackled "the Andy". They went up at least three quarters of the way, but with the top in sight - as it had been since they got out of their Hummers, LandRovers and Aztec - Janice from Accounts Receivable was tired, and Frank from Marketing confessed to being a bit "winded".

Three alarms went off at once, and a fourth would have gone off but Dirk's was hid behind some of his Mountain Man(TM) Insta-Kung Pao Chicken Delight Nutri-Meal(TM).

They were rescued without incident, except that they were quite distressed to hear the rescue workers bitching about "misuse" and "abuse" and "office pussies". Reports of cannibalism were baseless, though Frank did bite at his nails a bit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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