New GPS on International Space Station Malfunctioning

Written by Jalapenoman

Saturday, 5 September 2009


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The GPS in the ISS is a DUD.

A Space Shuttle mission by Discovery delivered a new Global Positioning Unit to the International Space Station this week. The new GPS unit, however, is not working. Instead of placing the station 26,000 miles above the earth in orbit, the new unit is currently reading the crew is located at Ed Earl's Auto, Front End, Body, and Paint shop in Muleshoe, Texas.

Ed Earl could not be reached for comment, but his wife Erlene said that "we ain't seen no space stations in these parts lately, but them UFO's kidnapped my brother in law and sexually abused him somethin' fierce last year. We thought they done the same thing to my neice too, but she jes got knocked up the Harris boy."

Officials from NASA apologized that the new unit is not working, saying that "we bought the most expensive one that they had at Radio Shack. It even came with a free Christmas CD that we sent along so the astronauts would have something to listen to when the holidays come around."

When asked if the new GPS was reading the Muleshoe location because the International Space Station happened to be in orbit over that spot at the time, Scientists said "No. We're actually in orbit over the Rio de Janeiro because the guys wanted to focus in the new telescope on one of the nude beaches."

The good news, said a NASA official (requesting that he not be identified) is that the telescope is working just fine and is broadcasting high quality pictures back to observatories everywhere. That live feed can be found on satellite systems on the NASA Network and the Playboy Channel.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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