Sacramento, California - In response to the popular outcry over Maria Shriver's breaking of California law concerning cell phone use while driving, The Governator has made good on his promise of a swift response.
Using futuristic technology from CyberDyne Systems, the Governator has been going back in time, in an attempt to terminate Maria Shriver before she has the chance to break the law. Insiders say that this is the only way the Governator feels he can keep his poll numbers up.
TimePatrol NewsCorp has just reported that the first attack took place at dawn, February 6, 1955, exactly nine months before Maria's birthday. Sargent Shriver (Maria's father to be) was just coming out to get the morning paper, when the first of explosions rocked his neighborhood.
Dazed and confused, he took the advice of a human soldier from the future, believed to be a Kennedy, who said, "Come with me, if you want to breed." As he was marrying into the Kennedy family, that was all he needed to hear.
The second attack was reportedly 13 years later, when Maria was approached by a terminator while trying to illegally withdraw funds from an ATM. Fortunately, another terminator machine rescued her, though in a shift of history, Maria Shriver now remembers being raised by foster parents. Who were allegedly "dicks".
No one is sure where or when the Governator's terminators will next strike Maria Shriver, but insiders say that she's sure as heck staying away from veterinarian offices and NORAD shelters.
Critics meanwhile are upbraiding the Governator, saying that while he is the state's chief executive, that he may be executing the law a bit to harshly. The Governator, who is due to be travelling back in time for yet another attempt at terminating Maria, said only, "I'll be back."
