Ralph Nader was more than a little embarrassed yesterday after bringing in a carload of his used clothing and having them rejected by Goodwill.
"Those things looked like he had been wearing them around the clock seven days a week", stated Brian Wooster, manager of the local store in Washington DC.
"Even poor people don't want to dress like dorks," explained Wooster. "Look at these. Know what they are? Pocket protectors! I didn't even know they made these anymore."
"Maybe if he had brought these in during the early eighties, we could have found some teenagers who could have used them for a special party or something, but not now."
"Maybe if we gave away a couple of smokes or a quarter somebody would take them off our hands", agreed assistant manager Ilene Tomaside, who began at the Goodwill as a handicapped worker after crashing her car while driving a Yugo that once led Nader to give her an earful, while he was shopping.
"But we would be losing money and we need all the money we can get. Maybe that's what he should have donated, some campaign money."
"He never received any this last time", stated Wooster, "or that's what I heard. Well, only enough to travel a bit. Of course, he doesn't even own a car."
Goodwill has put out the word and has now banned Nader from entering any of its 2300 stores nationwide, according to Wooster. "Just because someone's destitute, nutty or physically impaired," he added, "doesn't mean they have to dress like a nerd. They'd be laughed right out of the soup kitchen."
The last anyone saw of Nader after a friend had drove him back to the store, he was looking into using the clothes to wipe off seals and otters at oil spills.
