Gator Nader, the brother of oft presidential-candidate Ralph Nader, announced yesterday that, after 40 years, he finally has a girlfriend.
While everyone seems to know Ralph Nader, his brother Gator also immigrated from Lebanon at the same time as Ralph's family only Gator headed south because of his constant farting episodes.
"They all said I'd a heap of less trouble farting all the time down here in the South cause they jest laughs when you do, not threaten to cut off my head like in parts of Lebanon", stated Gator.
"Of course, they laugh at Ralph too but for other reasons. At least everybody knows Ralph."
Garor, who has been farting every day since 1969 during the Woodstock Festival that he attended on his way down from New York, stated that there was no way a girl would give him a second date after he'd squirm around in his seat every time they went out together.''
"Of course, I tried everything and the "silencer" worked that that guy on TV that died recently...Mays..but no matter. It didn't hide the smell."
When asked about doctors he threw a Mid-Eastern/Southern fit along with a shoe that caused him to fart for the first time in three days.
"Dadgum it! Don't mention those people to me. I done near spent all the money we made off with, that we got from those crooked politicians, on doctors! Don't wanna talk none about 'em!"
"See, you done caused me to fart for the first time in days. I hope that one was just a belated one."
"I ain't talking no more, at either end. Found my mistake on my own. After all those pills and therapy lessons, all I needed was to leave the sweet potatoes off the kabobs!"
