California - The San Andreas Fault stepped forward recently in Sacramento and acknowledged guilt for the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and admitted that it may be behind a future devastating earthquake in California a.k.a . "The Big One."
Speaking slowly but with confidence in a low register The Fault said that it felt it was time to step forward and admit responsibility for earthquakes past and ones that may occur in the future as well as clean the slate regarding responsibility for other problems in the state of California that it was not involved with.
"The state of California may be threatened environmentally but it is not the San Andreas Fault."
"I feel bad about the Sharon Tate murders like everyone else but that was Charles Manson's doing not mine."
"The state of California may be bankrupt but it is not the San Andreas Fault."
"We may have been enthusiastic about Schwarzenegger when we voted him for governor but it was not the San Andreas Fault."
The major geological fissure crossing the state of California seemed relieved to get all this off its' chest and left the room without fielding any questions.